Shadows

I never wanted you to know my story
Never wanted you to share my pain
All I ever wanted to do was love you
I know I can never take your pain away again
I wonder why this happened
Or if it were all a dream
A dream turned into a nightmare
Where life seems too obscene
I died that day he said it
I can't find life anymore
I'm trying to climb out of ten shadows
So I can love you more
I cannot stand the agony
So I keep you surrounded by those who can
And GOD will help me through this to get back to you
And that's my prayer. Amen.

Copyright ©2016 Attica Lundy Cooper

GOD MADE ME A FATHER

I waited on a call.
I always wait on a call.
When I get the call, it's always about her past and she wants to know things about herself.
I ask to speak to my child, but she says no.
See...I won't curse her out.
She knows this about me, that I could but that I won't.
I did all that when we were together and I've grown up to learn that that was wasted energy.
And for what?
She has done everything to make me feel nothing and yet I love even my enemies and so she's safe.
I'm patient.
I could be like all the men she knows and will know because of energy she brings and yet I don't wish bad for her, she's the mother of my child.
She's hurt.
Goodbye means that's not my issue but I have compassion for her as in i'm not laughing at her.
I can't see how I'd even be thinking about her anyway and I don't.
I only think of my children.
I'm happily married to someone she knows is the best for us.

But that's fine.
When I had nothing I could send nothing but as soon as I got something I sent something and even my consistency is not enough for her, though she always tells me how much it comes in handy.
I was never even encouraged, but I was put down, belittled, asked to give up my rights (glad she knows I have some), etc).
I know that when I get to the point where I can start saving and investing I can have representation to give me the right to have adequate visitation with my child;
I mean, I'm able to raise other people's children and I was able to raise my own prior to the break up.
It's sad how the break up changes things.
Whereas I could stay up all night to watch the baby while she was out and away, not I can't stay up all night to protect the child while she is out and away solely because she is not coming back to me and I'm there with my wife.
Meanwhile, her dude does go visit his.
I laid down with you once upon a distant time, but now I step aside and do not put our child in the middle; I take the hit.
Crazy how we have to bring other people into our lives, and the outside world has the wrong idea of who the deadbeat really is.
I still pray everyday for mine.
I still ask for them.
I'm thankful for Father's Day because GOD made me a father, and she can never take that away. Amen.

Copyright ©2016 Attica Lundy Cooper

Freestyle to ...her ...allude to an interview

 I wanna make her dreams come true; if only I could settle down long enough eye got my eye on ..us
Poetry in the mist of minds
created
paraded
elated to be able to speak with you soon
to pick your mind
and see whats new
so when, my dear, shall we.......
interview?

And yes, I wrote that....
for....
YOU

~By Attica Lundy Cooper
Freestyle to ...her

Copyright ©2016 Attica Lundy Cooper

Woman to Man

Woman to Man...

Man, I need you to be able to financially contribute to our well being and our livelihood. I cant do it all alone. We can't depend on only me. 

Need you to be able to hold me down. I'm holding myself down but I'm not in this alone; we need each other. I can't hold you down all on my own.

Where is your strength? Why excuses?  I need you.  To be able to life the financial burden of our needs for survival (rent, food, transportation, clothing, children,etc). These are our basic needs and I need you to put forth effort and do.

Not because the men before you did, but because you are grown. But you know my needs....the needs of our community. This is not new for today only. Our women should not have to go to prostitution because that's the only way she can get assistance from a man.  Like wow. I'm laying with you, but do you feel me?

Any man that expexts to be taken care of by a woman isnt ready for adulthood and has automatically failed his own children. But if he's not ready he should get ready. If a man feels that part of his needs is not to take care of his women and children then he is selfish and immature and should be happy to know that about himself and willing to grow.
Woman

Copyright ©2015 Attica Lundy Cooper

First Wife Blues: A poly monologueystic poem

"How do I feel for real

when I see him kiss her lips just so;

His lips brush quicker on mine nowadays

But when he kisses hers it seems they kiss slow.

I see the way he looks at her

Sometimes he looks right past me

I see that newness in their eyes

And I can't see what THEY see in me

She would never even have him

 if it were not for me.

I helped to mold him into the man

 that she done stole from me.

(I know that's a lie)

 She's my sister, my heart, my friend; I hate I think that way

She's here because I prayed for her

And forever she will remain."

Copyright ©2015 Attica Lundy

WAR:THE HYPOCRITE

In times like this we swallow hard
and sip the "glass-FULL" fate.
We deviate from fellowship
and cower down to hate.
And this (by "law" and in their eyes)
is right and just and condoned by man.
Though he knows deep down that killing's wrong;
blood's still on his hands.
Copyright ©2013 Attica Lundy

CAUSE I AIN'T YO WOMAN

I KNOW WHY

I KNOW WHYYYY

CAUSE I AIN’T YO WOMAN

 I’M NOT PICKING UP THE PHONE TODAY

CAUSE I AIN’T GOTTA LIVE THIS WAY

NO MORE/BABY,

NO, NO MORE

IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYTHING I TRIED

COMES BACK THROUGH THE SIDE

LIKE IT AIN’T ISH

AND I KNOW YOU FEEL ME

I KEEP GIVING YOU ANOTHER CHANCE

TO SHOW ME A LITTLE ROMANCE

BUT YOU TOO BUSY

AND I KNOW YOU FEEL ME

BUT WHEN I TRY TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE

YOU MAKE IT AN ISSUE ABOUT MY HEALTH

AND I’M SAYING THAT NICELY

BUT YOU AIN’T RIGHT

MY FRIENDS SAY I SHOULD LEAVE YOUR SIDE

BUT I’D RATHER LIVE IN YOUR LIE

AND THOUGH I KNOW YOU ARE MY LIFE

I AIN’T NEVER GON BE YOUR WIFE

I KNOW WHY

I KNOW WHYYYY

CAUSE I AIN’T YO WOMAN

Copyright ©2013 Attica Lundy

Thursday

I don't know what this means
It's like something from our dreams
Unique in that she's the very one we wanted
Did GOD bless us with that moment

My mind and soul won't believe that it was wrong
It's like the words to the perfect love song
It's like what love feels like already right now
I know that she's the one to whom we would say vows

Wow....and it even about the sex
It was just really the connection of love at it's best
AND I really don't even know how to say it at all
Love expressed in a triad at passion's door, loving the fall.

Copyright ©2012 Attica Lundy

 

This is ours
Our love, our pain, our scene
And though others came before and hurt us
We regained our crowns, both king and queen

This isn't about anyone else
Just the peace from escaping the world
Safety and soundness in each other's eyes
Shut off, just a man and his girl


Copyright ©2011 Attica Lundy

Green Light

Real Recognize Real
That's the game we play
It's not no kiddy shit
It's real life these days
I put a lot on the line
But had to come to a hault
Now it's the middle finger
But you're the one at fault
At no time did I ever
turn my back to you
I kept it 100%
Never no games with you
But in the end you couldn't
handle the simple truth
And it caused you grief,
so what's a woman to do?
We were lovers, then friends,
then turned to family
I would have given you the world,
hell-I gave you my key
But you turned from a boy to a man
then to a bitch
Never really had my back,
turns out you were a snitch
So now you cannot exist to me
Pull a stunt on me again and it's death you'll see
Cause in the end
you are no longer shit to me
So I'll handle you
like all the lames that I see
Stay the hell away from my my door,
you have fucked up now
In your mind you're gangsta,
but I can show you how
Real Recognize Real,
I don't recognize you at all
And before you rise,
I will see you fall
So take that Bonneville,
or that Old school whip
And drive it the fuck away,
and hopefully you won't slip
Cause if I see you in my lane
in any way
Dem shooters will surely be
all up in your face.
Copyright ©2010 Attica Lundy

I Don't Know What To Do

Lost in a sea of tears
Drowning in grief about you
I can't find my way
I don't know what to do
I just cannot believe
That you are no longer here
Save me from my pain
Save me from my fear

You are my everything
You are the words I sing
You are the way i go
You are my every flow
You are the strength I have
You are my better half
And if there is no you
Then I don't know what to do

Lost in a sea of tears
Drowning in grief about you
I can't find my way
I don't know what to do
I just cannot believe
That you are no longer here
Save me from my pain
Save me from my fear

I have no place in this world
Where you don't exist
Find me in the stars
I'm so hit or miss
I pray for your return
All I can do is pray
Tell me you feel the same
Tell me you'll be back again

Copyright ©2010 Attica Lundy

Confused

I tried my best
I'm not like all the rest
I didn't want to be
Just a new old memory

You see I put in so much time
To show you how love feels
And I tried my best to smile
Even when my heart cried painful tears

Coming home to you became more of a task
And in playing wife to you I had to wear a mask
Because you made me sad and you made me blue
And I didn't feel like "me" when I was was with you...

Don't try to change my mind
Not even a little bit
I've been this way for some time
It's such a mess, I'm tired of it
Maybe we should not try
I just want to be rid of it
You should just stay gone for awhile...
Until the smoke blows down

Some time has passed
I'm missing you more and more
I pick up the phone to call
But then I stop 'cause I don't know what I want

I know that too much time has passed
And as we're apart longer it seems so strange
I don't know what we're holding on to
Could it just be a familiar face?

Waking up to me was not so bad
And waking up to you mostly made me glad
But now that you're gone I'm not the same
And I don't know if we could make it with all of these changes

I tried my best
I tried my best
I'm tired of all this mess
I'm so tired of all this and all of the rest of it

I've just got to sleep
Sleep
Sleep
I've got to sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
I've got to sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep
Maybe then I'll dream.....................
Copyright ©2009 Attica Lundy

How we came to be

If I was sent to you
Then I am all you need
There is no need to look behind
Just let me be the one for you to see

I know it took some time
And you prayed for someone like me
So now that you have seen the vision
Imagine how good the reality will be

We shall sit by moonlight and dream
And talk about our faith and how this came to be
For me to be your lifemate
And you to be the same for me
Copyright ©2009 Attica Lundy

Can't stop thinking of you

I can't get you out of my mind
My heart beats solely for you
My tears flow into eternal pools of sadness
Because I can't be with you
I die a thousand deaths
Each time that you leave
And I can't go with you
It seems so unfair to me
I want to hold you close
And protect you from this
To bring you closer to me
And for it to be right
But only time will tell
Where our love will be
And however long the storm goes
I pray you'll be waiting for me...

Copyright ©2009 Attica Lundy

Given up on you

I know that you were hurt
Knew that you were lost
Knew that confusion caused you to run away
Knew that you wanted more, but couldn't grasp it

I tried to show you something real
Something that you didn't have to run from
Something that was for you and not from you
But you can't teach someone to love

Kindness doesn't mean weakness
But when you are broken, it's easier to run away
I tried my best, but now it's your turn
To do for yourself what you think is best

If you don't put in, you can't receive
And I hope you learn this before it's too late
The path you are heading down will end in failure
But I pray that you find your way


Copyright ©2009 Attica Lundy

Musiq Soulchild - Teach Me - Musiq Soulchild

Long Distance

I don't know what sent you away
And can't seem to get you back
Most times I just put you out of my mind
Because when I think of you, I get off track

I cannot go for more than a week
Without at least once thinking of you
I hate that our season came to pass
And that the reason didn't see us through

I wish I could turn back the hands of time
And take different steps than before
And if I can't have you back in my life
I wish I'd never even met you before

I'm scarred with a brand that symbolizes our time
But it burns right through my skin
No amount of ointment can block out the pain
Will my heart ever truly mend

I know it's time I moved on
But sometimes I want you back here with me
My tears have run dry, so there's only hurt
And I know that we can never again be

You're not within touch, so I can't feel you anymore
And that moment (our time in love) seems so long ago
I wasn't sure if you knew that I still thought of you
So I'm writing this so that you will know....

Copyright ©2009 Attica Lundy

Long Distance - Brandy

The things I won't show you

It's hard to listen
So hard to listen when you speak
I know you're lying
And making promises you won't keep
You think I'm nothing
That's why you do the things you do
See, I don't trust you
So I won't show my all to you
The greatest things
You'll never know
The love we shared
Is all but gone
The games you played
Are done and you have lost
You thought you won
But you paid the cost
Copyright ©2009 Attica Lundy

Take A Bow - Rihanna

I have become

He was a bridge to an awakening
Of who I was to be
And when I crossed the winding trail
He was no more to me.

I held my breath as soon as he put his hat back on
And watched anxiously as his figure became a distant blur
Until the vision was no more
And I could breathe in the new world.

Oh what strength I had all of a sudden
As if nothing could bring me down
The second day of the year gave birth to me
A new child with no more frowns!

I do not question how or why
I care not because that was long ago
And moving forward with no thoughts of him
Brings on a little smile, of whose pleasures only I know.

I do not damn his being
(He damned himself all on his own)
For I can only celebrate my own blessings
And be a testimony for those who had seen me grow.

And he is as blind as the day before we met
Knowing nothing of the me who is me
And I care not to boast or show off my new wealth
I shall let him stay where he chose to be.

To some I am a rose whose petals have outshone what was
To some I am the symbol of a dream
To some I am inspiration
And to some I am what comes from dreams.

To some I am what always was wished for
But never quite close to grasp
But to me, I am the most amazing light
That will shine and never will come unclasped.

Seek me not for I am no longer tangible
Speak not, for I shall not hear
Want not, for there is nothing left
Come not, for I am not here.

I am the name given to me upon my first breath of life
I am Hpnotiq to those who know first hand
I am princess and daughter to the Jesus Christ, my Lord
But I am no more to that distant man.


Copyright ©2009 Attica Lundy

Rehab - Rihanna

Kisses underneath a waterfall are but a dream

Why look upon the past
where there lives no salvation
What fool searches to quench his thirst from a hollowed glass
Surely that will not bring on satisfaction

He says kisses under a waterfall are but a dream
But I've felt those kisses once upon a time; but had to frown
For if I'd not let go to take a deep breath
I would have surely drowned

Sometimes I think upon that rain
Of water coming down from passionate streams
And smiles that spread as wide as the widest seas
Until the drought interrupted the routine

Like desert sands are hot as coals
The drought was dry and so extreme
And thoughts turned to hallucinations from the heated wrath
Where there once were waterfalls, there now was colorless schemes

What is honesty without truth and fact
What is love without the same thing
They are simply kisses underneath a waterfall
In a heartbroken lover's dream


Copyright ©2008 Attica Lundy

My wings

Thought I heard a birdie say it was time
Time to spread my wings and fly away
I've been settled in the comfort of my mind
But now I must find the energy to speed up the pace
I do not know where my wings will carry me
Or which way the winds will blow
All I know is that when I leave I will be free
And where I'll arrive to, only God knows
But I am happy because I have found my peace of mind
I have learned a great lesson, even at this ladder age
That real love is hard to find
Sometimes it takes a wrong love to make you see it that way
Sometimes you travel in search of something
Only to find that you really had it all along
and hopefully you embrace what you have with a ring
And are saved from escaping into something that was wrong
Alas, I am much more free this time around
I smile and I spread my wings wide
And the renewed love of self has been found
No longer will lies be the shield in which I hide.
Copyright ©2008 Attica Lundy