Silent Presents

I can't speak.

I've said all the words,

There are no more.

I smoke cigarettes because I know they cause cancer

and I don't value my life enough to give it justice.

I want to live. I really do.

But no matter how much I reason with others about how things should be....

no matter how much I try to live in God's light, there is always that dark shadow standing in the way of the shine.

At 4 it was her-presenting to me that I wasn't worth commitment.

At 6 it was him-presenting to me that having a home had a cost.

At 12 it was them- presenting to me that a lie could turn white if tinted in the right way.

At 15 it was them- presenting to me that moments were not prescious.

At 17 it was him- presenting to me that you could run, but could not hide.

At 18 it was him- presenting to me that bruises could be ignored.

At 19 it was it- presenting to me that control was a choice.

At 23 it was her- presenting to me a chance to leave the team and join the flock.

At 27 it was him- presenting to me that bonnie and clyde did exist.

At 30 it was me- presenting to myself that change was necessary.

At 33 it was me- presenting to myself that love could die.

At 34 it is me- presenting to myself that you can't trust what you see.

At 34 it is him- presenting to me that an arrangement is acceptable.

At 34 it is God- presenting to me that life is precious, and time is now, and tears don't have to be cried in vain, and what you feel deep down inside is typically right, and

and

and

perhaps it is time to appreciate and practice wisdom.
Copyright ©2007 Attica Lundy