Shadows

I never wanted you to know my story
Never wanted you to share my pain
All I ever wanted to do was love you
I know I can never take your pain away again
I wonder why this happened
Or if it were all a dream
A dream turned into a nightmare
Where life seems too obscene
I died that day he said it
I can't find life anymore
I'm trying to climb out of ten shadows
So I can love you more
I cannot stand the agony
So I keep you surrounded by those who can
And GOD will help me through this to get back to you
And that's my prayer. Amen.

Copyright ©2016 Attica Lundy Cooper

GOD MADE ME A FATHER

I waited on a call.
I always wait on a call.
When I get the call, it's always about her past and she wants to know things about herself.
I ask to speak to my child, but she says no.
See...I won't curse her out.
She knows this about me, that I could but that I won't.
I did all that when we were together and I've grown up to learn that that was wasted energy.
And for what?
She has done everything to make me feel nothing and yet I love even my enemies and so she's safe.
I'm patient.
I could be like all the men she knows and will know because of energy she brings and yet I don't wish bad for her, she's the mother of my child.
She's hurt.
Goodbye means that's not my issue but I have compassion for her as in i'm not laughing at her.
I can't see how I'd even be thinking about her anyway and I don't.
I only think of my children.
I'm happily married to someone she knows is the best for us.

But that's fine.
When I had nothing I could send nothing but as soon as I got something I sent something and even my consistency is not enough for her, though she always tells me how much it comes in handy.
I was never even encouraged, but I was put down, belittled, asked to give up my rights (glad she knows I have some), etc).
I know that when I get to the point where I can start saving and investing I can have representation to give me the right to have adequate visitation with my child;
I mean, I'm able to raise other people's children and I was able to raise my own prior to the break up.
It's sad how the break up changes things.
Whereas I could stay up all night to watch the baby while she was out and away, not I can't stay up all night to protect the child while she is out and away solely because she is not coming back to me and I'm there with my wife.
Meanwhile, her dude does go visit his.
I laid down with you once upon a distant time, but now I step aside and do not put our child in the middle; I take the hit.
Crazy how we have to bring other people into our lives, and the outside world has the wrong idea of who the deadbeat really is.
I still pray everyday for mine.
I still ask for them.
I'm thankful for Father's Day because GOD made me a father, and she can never take that away. Amen.

Copyright ©2016 Attica Lundy Cooper

Freestyle to ...her ...allude to an interview

 I wanna make her dreams come true; if only I could settle down long enough eye got my eye on ..us
Poetry in the mist of minds
created
paraded
elated to be able to speak with you soon
to pick your mind
and see whats new
so when, my dear, shall we.......
interview?

And yes, I wrote that....
for....
YOU

~By Attica Lundy Cooper
Freestyle to ...her

Copyright ©2016 Attica Lundy Cooper