Monday, June 20, 2016


I waited on a call.
I always wait on a call.
When I get the call, it's always about her past and she wants to know things about herself.
I ask to speak to my child, but she says no.
See...I won't curse her out.
She knows this about me, that I could but that I won't.
I did all that when we were together and I've grown up to learn that that was wasted energy.
And for what?
She has done everything to make me feel nothing and yet I love even my enemies and so she's safe.
I'm patient.
I could be like all the men she knows and will know because of energy she brings and yet I don't wish bad for her, she's the mother of my child.
She's hurt.
Goodbye means that's not my issue but I have compassion for her as in i'm not laughing at her.
I can't see how I'd even be thinking about her anyway and I don't.
I only think of my children.
I'm happily married to someone she knows is the best for us.

But that's fine.
When I had nothing I could send nothing but as soon as I got something I sent something and even my consistency is not enough for her, though she always tells me how much it comes in handy.
I was never even encouraged, but I was put down, belittled, asked to give up my rights (glad she knows I have some), etc).
I know that when I get to the point where I can start saving and investing I can have representation to give me the right to have adequate visitation with my child;
I mean, I'm able to raise other people's children and I was able to raise my own prior to the break up.
It's sad how the break up changes things.
Whereas I could stay up all night to watch the baby while she was out and away, not I can't stay up all night to protect the child while she is out and away solely because she is not coming back to me and I'm there with my wife.
Meanwhile, her dude does go visit his.
I laid down with you once upon a distant time, but now I step aside and do not put our child in the middle; I take the hit.
Crazy how we have to bring other people into our lives, and the outside world has the wrong idea of who the deadbeat really is.
I still pray everyday for mine.
I still ask for them.
I'm thankful for Father's Day because GOD made me a father, and she can never take that away. Amen.

Copyright ©2016 Attica Lundy Cooper